I first started using drugs, I guess it started in high school. I played soccer, I was the captain of my high school soccer team. In let’s say, 8th or 9th grade I started smoking pot. I was a big pot head, smoking bowls,
or blunts, or bongs every couple hours, while I was still playing soccer and competing at the varsity level. So really in my eyes it started with smoking pot. I was hanging out with other people who were also smoking pot, and throughout high school I started dabbling into other things. For example I did mushrooms several times, drugs were a part of my social life throughout y high school career. My one friend got prescribed Percocet, when he had shoulder surgery, and I was over his house, and he was like “hey man, you gotta try one of these,” just really casual, and I was like, ya I’ll try it, and I ended up falling in love with Percocet’s It was fun to me. I didn’t really think it could lead to something more serious later down the road. And after that, I loved doing them and we would get more. I met more friends that were using them. And this is how my opiate addiction started progressing.
Before I knew it I was planning my weekends around percocets. The conversations back and forth between friends that were suing would be revolved around where, how and when we would get more. My buddy got introduced to higher doses, and then oxycontin. Then after senior year everyone went there separate ways. I was still in Philadelphia, I had a friend at Temple university, I was at Drexel, and we were still casually using but once we started college our tolerance was building up, and the next thing I knew we’re looking for pe
rc 30s. And this is all while I’m still smoking pot, drinking, partying. I never thought anything I was doing was wrong, I was just living up the college life. It was just a slow progression, but my parents started suspecting something was wrong, I was thin and always moody.
Sophomore year of college I has a place off campus with some guys off campus, and I started stealing the coin jar from all my buddies that I was living with, and lying about it. I was stealing food and lying about it too, and I got kicked out ended up moving back home to my parents’ house, still going to school at Drexel. I would go to the city, go to class, pick up drugs, leave class, and go get high by, mostly by myself. The progression ended up leading to heroin. I mostly snorted it. This led me to more lying, stealing, pawning. Every dollar my parents gave me was going towards drugs. I stole their food so the money they gave me to buy food, I could use to buy drugs. I pawned my sisters textbooks, my moms jewelry, I pawned all of my clothes, all my nice birthday gifts, basically anything nice I had was in the pawn shop. I had nothing left. And this is all while I was still in school, I don’t know how the hell I was doing it. I was smoking crack in between classes at the bathrooms at Drexel. About Junior year in college, my parents, I had convinced my parents to take me to see a psychiatrist, my ultimate goal, my motive was to get Xanax, and they were also prescribing me every anti-depressant drug you can name. None of that worked, and from there I was introduced to a suboxone Doctor from my family physician. For me subo
xone was just another drug. I was on 8mg of suboxone, going to a group, my parents were paying $500 a month, and I was like, ok I’m good, now I can use Cocaine. So I was using cocaine, taking Suboxone, sometimes selling Soboxone, taking Xanax, all while going and seeing this Doctor and attending meetings. I was still stealing, manipulating and lying. I had no friends, no one wanted to be with me, my sister hated me, my parents were the only ones that stuck by my side. I stole from my aunt and uncle who were like my second parents, they wouldn’t talk to me. No one trusted me. That’s the worst feeling. The shittiest part was going and seeing people you knew and realizing you couldn’t talk to them cause you stole from them, people talking about you as the druggie.
My clean date is my birthday. January 25th, 2013. The day before that, I was livin
g in a crack house, had been for weeks. I told my parents I was going to hang out with my girlfriend but really I was living in a crack house, loaning my car to a crack dealer who would give me crack as a fee for the car. It got so bad I was hanging out with prostitutes, who were also on crack. The day before my birthday I was in an SUV with 3 crack dealers, myself, and someone else. I had 5 grams of crack on me. We got pulled over by an undercover cop, and he searched me, found a crack pipe and all the crack, throws it on the ground, stomps it all out and says I never want to see you around here, ever again. Meanwhile my parents were calling me while this was going on, and I’m ignoring their calls. I had been gone for a few days. I finally get home, it’s 9:30 at night, and everyone is crying, screaming at me, it was awful. I was high, I didn’t know what was really going on, and I went to sleep. The next morning, January 25th, 2013 I woke up, I looked at myself in the mirror, and I started crying my eyes out. I told my parents I was done. I was a wreck. I took every single drug and drug paraphernalia, my suboxone, flushed it down the toilet. I broke my phone. I completely disconnected myself rom the drug world. This was my spiritual awakening.
Three weeks of detox with no comfort meds and family support, I was the one who chose to do drugs, and so I decided how I was going to detox, I will never come across any harder obstacle no matter what life throws at me, I will be able to overcome it because I went through that process. I wake up every morning now and I want to attack life. A big part of my recovery, was the gym. After the withdrawal symptoms were diminished I entered LA fitness and found my new calling. I trained hard, put the healthiest things in my body, met some amazing people in the fitness industry. I met my trainer who pushed me to do harder physical things than I ever imagined I could do. Last year I opened up my own personal training company, called Trap Star health and fitness. I have a passion for training people looking to change their lifestyle.
I embrace my story. I’m willing to tell it all. I think it helps people to embrace their stories. There are people that need to hear your story, to know that you’re not above them, that this is possible. We do recover.